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Life List

2009-10-01T13:16:00.000-07:00

Life List

I've been working on my life list; the list of things I dream about doing in this life. If you need something to compare it to, I suppose you could call it a bucket list, but I really would rather you didn't. I'm not rushing to complete this list because I'm terminal. It's just things I want to do, want to experience.

I have a tendency to get caught up in the day-to-day of life with a husband, kids, job and house and before I know it another year has passed and I've still not done any of the things that I really wanted to try and do. It's so frustrating to me that when I have the time or opportunity to do something for myself, my brain goes blank and I can't remember any of the great things I wanted to do. So here it is, my (still under construction) life list, blogged for posterity:

Ride in a hot air balloon
Do community theater
Make money doing something I love (what that is, I do not yet know)
Redecorate my room into a relaxing, romantic, organized haven
Organize a neighborhood event (block party; xmas boat/trailer parade)
Go on a road trip with Dave & the kids, in a motorhome, to camp in various National Parks
View the Grand Canyon from the glass observation deck
Travel to Peru and see Machu Picchu in person
Go to Italy with my husband
Be a person who exercises regularly
Get a tatoo
Make lasagna from scratch (including the sauce)
Take a photography class
Join a choir or sing beautiful music in a (non-church) group
Learn to dance with a partner (Dave's a great dancer - I am not)

This is a good start - I know there are more that I just can't remember right now - but I'm also putting the list over in the left sidebar so that I can update it as needed. You should make a life list too. We can help each other cross things off - it'll be so fun!

(Life List inspired my Maggie at Mighty Girl)

PAPA-ISMS

2008-07-22T13:02:00.000-07:00

NOTE: I wrote this a long time ago (October 07 actually) and it has languished in my drafts folder for months. Not for any reason other than I have had some sort of mental block about blogging since then. I'm back for now (but don't hold me to it) and I had forgotten about this particular post so I'm publishing it. The references are dated, but the subject is more relevant than ever...

Most of you know that I work for my step-dad. He is a very kind and generous man and I love him. He also talks a lot, even when he really has nothing to talk about. Which isn't even true because he always has something to talk about. We sometimes have to talk about the same things over and over again several times throughout the day. This isn't because of senility, it's just the way his mind works. It's always been this way. There's no such thing as a quick question and everything (trip to the gas station, getting a haircut, etc) has to be planned and talked about, talked about and planned. Sometimes he'll say something in passing that will make no sense or have no relevance to what we're working on. These are the things that for most of us are fleeting thoughts that stay in our heads and might even go totally unnoticed by the active parts of our brains. For my dad, those fleeting thoughts fall out of his mouth. I call them drive-bys (in my head, of course). Anyway, the always talking is often hard for me because I happen to be one of those people who occasionally just needs silence.

My sister, who lives out of state, likes to remind me how lucky I am because I am here to reap the benefits of working for our dad. Free lunches, flexible hours, shopping trips with our mom, etc. Today I felt the need to remind her that while I am lucky in many respects, I also deal with my fair share of frustration around the office. I decided that every time Papa (that's what my kids call him) spouted some gem of irrelevance, just for the sake of talking, I would IM it to her. This was fun for me, and it helped me unclench my fists a bit at the sound of his voice - until she left work early (according to her there was some emergency at her house, but I think she was having flashbacks of living at home and had to take the rest of the day off).

Anyway, my sister's not available for the rest of the day and this has been oddly therapeutic, so I'm sharing with you, the internet. So, internet, here you are:

Today's drive-by Papa-isms:
(stuff in parenthesis is my internal dialog of sarcastic come backs, that out of respect, I don't let fall out of my mouth)

"Do the girls like Miso soup? Maybe I'll warm it up later and see if they enjoy it. Speaking of which, yes, Halloween is next Wednesday." (uh...we weren't speaking of Halloween, yet anyway)

"It's too bad that Keiko's boyfriend didn't bring a big platter of sushi the other day when he dropped by." (and it's too bad you didn't mention that the other day, when it would've been relevant.)

"Brown, blue, green. Everyone's got their trash cans out!" (to be fair, he says some variation of this every trash day - but WHY?)

"Ah...they came by and emptied up the brown trash can." (really? what a surprise! oh wait, they do that EVERY week, Rainman!)

So there a sampling for you. Maybe I'll make this a regular feature. Check back for more Drive-By Papaisms. I guarantee you that he won't disappoint.

ON MY HONOR, I WILL TRY: TO DEAL WITH YOUR OBNOXIOUS BRAT, TO HELP PEOPLE AT ALL TIMES, AND TO LIVE BY THE GIRL SCOUT LAW.

2008-07-21T15:23:00.001-07:00

Emily has been in Brownies since school started last year. This was a new experience for both of us since I was never a daisy/brownie/girl scout. For Emily, being a Brownie has been fun, fun, fun! And it's been exciting to watch her participate since I was always such a wallflower as a little kid. For me though, it's been an exercise in patience, patience, patience.

(OFF TOPIC, FOR A MINUTE) I've gotten into the habit of saying that I don't really like other people's kids. Of course, there didn't used to be so many kids in my life and the ones I noticed on a day-to-day basis were...obnoxious. Hmmm, that's probably why I noticed them. Anyway I realized recently that I need to stop saying that because there are many kids out there these days who I'm really rather fond of. I've volunteered in Emily's classes and I've enjoyed getting to know her classmates. Of course, all my good friends' children are dear to me and without a doubt, I'm in love with my nephews. Which all adds up to a lot of other people's kids. That I like. So you see what I mean about not using such a blanket phrase anymore? But it seems that in most group settings (Brownies, swimming lessons, soccer, dance class, etc.) there's always a kid or two or more that's just unbearable. Those are the kids I don't like. I have a hard time holding my tongue around those kids, and I have an even harder time hiding my irritation and dislike of those kids. Perhaps I'm immature or maybe I'm just a bitch. Whatever. So instead of saying that I don't like other people's kids, I'm going to start saying that I don't like other people's kids that are jerks. Excellent! Glad I got that sorted out. (SORRY, THAT WAS LONGER THAN I PLANNED)

Are you're getting that I'm not really the ideal candidate for chaperoning trips, being class mom and running the carpool?

So anyway, one of Emily's first Brownie adventures was an overnight campout at a Girl Scout House in Laguna Beach. Emily really wanted to go but was too nervous to stay the night unless I went. If I didn't spend the night as a chaperone, I would have to go pick her up at lights out and then drive her all the way back the next morning, which would have been a total drag. So I sucked it up and volunteered. The other chaperone moms were nice and one of them matched me in sarcasm which means I liked her right away. At first it seemed that the experience wouldn't be so bad. But there were these two girls, whose moms were not there (of course!), who were utterly, ridiculously, obnoxious. One of them literally threw herself down on the ground and cried because not enough of the girls were paying attention to her. She was bossy, melodramatic and defiant. She tried my patience to the very limit and she and I had words. The other little peach would pound on the piano as hard as she could, every chance she got. We'd make her stop and she'd move on to some other obnoxious, repetitive behavior that we'd have to ask her to quit doing. This went on...and on...and on until she said to one of us, in a very snitty little pre-teen voice "You're not my mom." The restraint I had to use after that nearly made my head explode. It was clear that I was in my own little custom-made hell.

After that trip, I secretly hoped that Emily would stop loving Brownies and want out. She didn't, so I reluctantly continued to shuttle her around to the Brownie meetings and outings. I helped her sell cookies and I helped the Cookie-Mom (who happens to be one of those dear friends whose kids' I adore) pick up the thousands of boxes of cookies and distribute them to the troop. And don't tell anyone I'm saying this, but that part was kind of fun.

So last week, as a reward for those thousands of boxes of cookies sold, our troop got to go to an overnight Adventure Camp at Sea World. I wasn't going to go, but some people had to drop out because of vacations and whatnot and they had extra spots and it was Sea World and I love Sea World and so, again, I signed up to be a chaperone. There was a little part of me that was excited, but oh man was I dreading dealing with the difficult girls.

But the fates must have been pleased that day because this trip was different. It was FUN! Certain girls chose not to go and the group that went gelled beautifully. No drama, no tears, no fights. It was an all around mahvelous time. We had a guide that led us through the park, did crafts with the girls and taught them songs. We slept in our sleeping bags in the manatee exhibit and got to fall asleep and wake up again to those sweet, gentle creatures floating, twirling and swimming around above us. It was awesome and an incredible privilege and there wasn't a single bad attitude in the group.

At one point, we were walking into the bleachers at the nighttime dolphin show and fireworks extravaganza, and the staff was passing out snacks and apple juice to the Adventure Camp kids. Emily turned to me and said: "This is one of the best days of my life!" For the remainder of the trip, I was just so glad that I was there to experience that excitement with her, that I would've dealt with all the obnoxious brats they sent my way. I was so grateful that she was telling me that it was one of the best days of her life and not some other kids' mom.

So there it is. At that moment I became a (significantly less reluctant) Brownie Mom. Taking the good with the bad. And maybe, just maybe there will be more good than bad. I sure hope so, because I really can't stand other people's kids that are jerks.

THAT'S JUST HER PERFUME..."NEW DOG SCENT"

2007-09-11T20:41:00.001-07:00

I'm in the front yard with our dog Maya, and a girl who lives on the street (I don't know her age but she's in 4th grade) walks by.

Is this your dog?

Yep, she is.

Wow, I never saw it before. Is it new?

Uhh...nope.

Look kiddo, we're not talking about a car or a sweater here. I know, I probably need to cut you some slack.* But, who asks that about a dog? Is it new? I mean, if she was a chihuahua I could understand - those things always look the same. They could be 10 days or 10 years and you'd never be able to guess. But Maya is a big, 5 year old boxer. Her muzzle is going gray! So no, my astute little friend, she is most definitely not new.

*I could possibly be feeling a bit more sensitive than normal since we just found out that we'll be spending a ridiculous amount of our cash at the vet in the very near future. It just figures that as soon as the 5 year warranty on that baby expires...shit starts breaking down.

PROPER TRAINING

2007-09-11T17:00:00.000-07:00

I'm making small talk with a little boy that's playing at our friend's house. His name is Maddox.

So how old are you Maddox?

I'm three.

[thoughtful pause]

But when I go to Disneyland, I'm two.

Fondue

2007-07-28T19:07:00.000-07:00

We're watching some friends' kids and I thought it would be fun to serve them cheese fondue for dinner. The ages we've got are 4 & 7 (ours) and 5 & 7 (theirs).

their 7: "What should I try first?"

our 7: "The zuchini - to get it over with."

5: "Is this pork?"

Me: "Yep."

5: "I'm having pig for dinner?"

Me: "Uh...yeah."

5 (while dipping): "I'm having pig dipped in cheese for dinner!"

New Camera

2007-07-07T08:36:00.000-07:00

I recently bought a new camera (a Nikon D40) that I've been drooling over for a while. I got it on the 4th of July and have been playing with it as much as possible ever since. Here's a set of photos from the last couple days...I'm still learning, but given my complete lack of experience with anything but a point-and-shoot, they're not half-bad. I really like this camera.

New Camera Set on Flickr

We're leaving on Sunday for a week at Lake Havasu so I'll have plenty more opportunity to play around - and maybe even improve. I'll update when we return.

The Perfect Storm

2007-06-14T10:24:00.000-07:00

Here's a few things you might not know about me:

1. I hate boiled okra.

2. I don't understand the whole Crocs phenomenon. They're ugly, ill-fitting, clunky, and also ugly. But, what about all those bright colors, you ask? Ugly. Even on cute little-kid feet? Ugly and sad. Like an ugly, sad little clown.

3. Photos of President Bush, especially the photos where he's smiling and waving, illicit a physical response in me. (I'm talking about a response so strong, so full of disgust and distaste, that I have to look away from the offending image or risk my feelings of intense hatred and anger toward him burning through my brain and disintegrating my retinas, rendering me blind and thus wasting the very useful laser eye-surgery I had last year.)

So, knowing these things, you can imagine how distraught I was when I stumbled across this gem of a photo:

I'll bet he just ate a big plate of boiled okra too!

And also, are those "Office of the President" socks? Doesn't that look like the logo that's on the carpet of the oval office?

2007-06-12T17:48:00.001-07:00

The little theatre-goer leaving Annie with her souvenir backpack.

Overheard at Job Day

2007-06-12T12:28:00.000-07:00

My Mom (an ER nurse who was visiting the 1st graders at Emily's school yesterday, and had just mentioned that in the summer they unfortunately see alot of kids in the ER who drown in swimming pools):

"So, what can you kids do to make sure that you don't drown in a swimming pool?"

Kid 1: "Wear a life jacket!"
Kid 2: "Learn to swim!"
Kid 3: "Wear floaties on your arms!"
Kid 4: "Wear a seat belt!"

I'm wondering if that kid blacked-out during the motorcycle cop's presentation?

The modern-day SoCal 4-year-old

2007-06-12T12:17:00.000-07:00

"Mommy, can I wear a different dress?"

"But you've only worn that one for half the day. Let's not get another dress dirty."

"But mom, I spilled sushi (soosy) on this dress."

"Oh. Well, alright then."

2007-05-21T16:27:00.000-07:00

If you've got 9 minutes, 28 seconds to spare, this is pretty entertaining:

100 Movies, 100 Quotes, 100 Numbers

Out of the mouths of babes. Really. Bright. Babes...

2007-03-04T20:54:00.000-08:00

The scene: I'm the lone adult in a living room of children. They are, my girls (Paige, 3 and Emily, 7) and our good friends' children; Rebekah, age 7 and Jack, age 5. The kids are being silly with each other and I'm sitting on the couch just watching and listening to them interact with each other.

Paige (to Jack): "I want us to get married."

Jack: "No way! You can marry Rebekah instead!"

Emily: "She can't marry a girl, Jack!"

Rebekah: "Yeah, that's against the law." (Looking in my direction expectantly, probably waiting for my nod of confirmation.)

So every now and again I've come across these moments of parenting where the natural progression of a conversation will allow me to plant a seed in the young minds of my children (and in this case my friends' children) without seeming overly preachy because, hey, I didn't bring it up in the first place, right? And so, sensing the opportunity for a lesson, I non-chalantly throw in to the conversation something along the lines of:

Me: "Well actually, if she wanted to marry a girl that would be okay. And if Jack wanted to marry a boy that would be okay too."

Emily: "But Mom, that's against the law!"

Me: "Well yeah, it's not really allowed for women to marry women or men to marry men, but that's something that there shouldn't really be laws about. Laws are supposed to protect people and keep things safe and fair for everyone. Do you think it would hurt anyone or be unfair if two people who loved each other very much got married - even though they're both boys or both girls?"

Emily: "No, that wouldn't hurt anyone." (After a short pause) "Then Mom, I think that's a dumb law."

Me: "Yeah, me too."

Enter the dads with take-out chinese.

Paige: "Mommy, I want to eat right here in the living room. Please? Can I? Please?"

Me: (we're at our friends' house by the way) "Nope. That's against the rules. We're all going to eat at the kitchen table."

Emily: "But Mom, is it really going to hurt anyone if she eats in the living room?"

I explode from the pride. End scene.

-----

Speaking of Emily...she's been pretty interested in the fact that Dave and I have been keeping these blogs. On Friday she asked me if she could have her own blog and I told her (because, frankly, I was having a beer and didn't feel like dealing with it) that we'd talk about it on Saturday. Well, yesterday morning we talked about it and I told her I would help her set up a blog. And so we did. And so she does.

As part of the process of setting up her blog I also had to set her up with her own email address. I researched the ultra-safe email programs designed for kids (this one and this one), but alas, they are not free and I wasn't ready to shell out the bucks just yet. I ended up getting her a gmail address and setting it up so that all of her incoming emails get copied to my gmail adress. That way I figure I can monitor what's going on in her account and that she's not being targeted by any creepy pedophiles, porn peddlers and the like. So, if you're family or a friend and want to send her an email, let me know and I'll send you the email address.

Note: If you're a pedophile, a pornographer, selling Viagra or Cialis, or have any other creepy intentions and you happen to get a hold of her email address, and you happen to solicit her, I will hunt you down and make your life a living hell.

So anyway, I felt a little strange setting up email and a blog for my seven year old. But, for the moment she loves it and it's encouraging her to write and be creative, so it cant be too bad, right? Right?

Why we heart February.

2007-02-23T06:50:00.000-08:00

It's been three years this month since Paige had her heart surgery! This picture was taken the night before...

She's oh-so stubborn and strong-willed as can be, this girl of ours. But when she's sweet she's very sweet. She makes up ridiculous and adorable songs (usually while sitting on the potty), and has a wild and colorful imagination.

Although I frequently have to remind myself, often while taking deep breaths and counting to 10, I love her just the way she is. And I am really so grateful that she's here and she's healthy.

She's our perpetual Valentine.

Bringin' home the bacon?

2007-02-15T14:25:00.000-08:00

I have grown immune to my alarm clock. We've had the same alarm clock for over 10 years and it is no longer is sufficient at waking me up. It annoys me; some days it pisses me off; but it definately doesn't wake me.

Every morning sometime between 5:30 and 6:00 I begin an elaborate production of sleep walking across the room every 7 minutes or so, occasionally tripping over the dog, to push the snooze button. By the way,we cleverly placed the alarm clock across the room so we would not be tempted to continually push the snooze button. Then I sleep walk my way back to the warm comfy bed with my warm comfy husband and my snuggly cat and fall into a slightly deeper state of sleep. Consequently, most mornings I get up way too late and am way too rushed. I'm sure you'll agree that this is clearly not a personality defect or a result of going to bed too late, but the sign of a totally useless and uninspiring alarm clock.

So, I've been looking at alarm clock alternatives. Lately I've been thinking that I wanted a clock that incorporated my iPod so that I could wake up happily to a playlist of my choosing. I mean how great would that be? I can just imagine all the positive implications that waking up to great music would have. Why, I bet I would be more organized; my house would be cleaner; my children happier, the benefits are endless really! Oh yes, these alarm clocks are pretty pricey. But can you put a price on that kind of happiness? Thank you. I didn't think so. Anyway, I was all ready to shell out the bucks for the alarm clock that would put an end to my morning drudgery, and then.... THEN! I found THIS!

Oh dear god, when will they market this? I can tell you that if it's available by Christmas, some of you lucky friends and family will definately be finding one under your tree. Until then, I guess I'll have to settle for iPod alarm clock...

At the dinner table...

2007-02-09T21:01:00.000-08:00

Paige: "Mom, [little boy at daycare] pushed me down and now I have a bruise (bwooze) on my head."

Me: "Hmmm, was it an accident or did he do it on purpose?"

P: "He did it on purpose (pope-us)."

M: "Wow. I wonder why would he do something like that?"

P: *shrugs* "Boys don't think (sink), Momma."

There's a real sense of pride and accomplishment when a major life lesson you've been trying to impart to them just clicks.

Overheard in the office...

2007-02-08T08:51:00.000-08:00

I'm so tired of this conversation:

Client: "Hi, I'd like to make an appointment."

Me: "OK, his first available appointment is blah, blah, blah."

C: "Oh. OK. Well, I guess I'll take that appointment."
(long pause)
"So, he doesn't have anything sooner than that?"

M: (holding back, remaining professional) "no."

C: "Because, I've been coming to see him for, like, five years now."

What I wish I could say (aka, my inner dialog): Oh! Why didn't you mention that before? For you, of course we have an earlier appointment. Now, since you're such an exclusive client, I'm sure you know the secret handshake, right? Because unless you know the secret handshake, I'm afraid I can't access the chamber of hidden appointments.

What I get to say: "Sorry, that's the first available."

Stupid Cupid

2007-02-07T19:26:00.000-08:00

Put on yer best sweats, baby! I'm takin' you out for Valentine's Day.
Le Chateau Blanc -(via Kottke)

Dada da da da, I'm lovin' it...

2007-02-05T07:53:00.000-08:00

An interesting (and funny) observation...
http://www.yogabeans.com/2006/09/now-word-from-not-our-sposor.html

Love in the afternoon...

2007-02-03T17:54:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow, Dave and I will be participating in the Pacific Shoreline event in Huntington Beach. He in the half marathon and I in the 5K run/walk (more walk than run, for me). On Friday afternoon we went down to the expo to pick up our race bibs, time chips, t-shirts, etc. It was a beautiful day and I wanted to take a picture but lacked a camera so I took out my cell phone and snapped this shot of the pier. It's grainy and the color isn't true, but this will be our view while we run/walk tomorrow:

This view definately doesn't suck.

People, if you can manage it, I highly recommend daytime dates with your love over the evening versions. We took three hours out of our afternoon and headed down to the beach. We had a GREAT lunch at The Longboard on Main St., browsed around the Farmer's Market and Art-a-Faire, walked down to the expo to take care of our race business and took advantage of some amazing deals on nomally ridiculously-expensive racing clothes/gear. We did all of this without having to get a babysitter. And we still had the rest of the day/evening to get some work done, hang with the kids*, etc. We both agreed that it was some of the nicest alone time we've had in a while. I'm going to venture to say that it would've bordered on perfect if we'd indulged in a couple margaritas with lunch. But hey, now we have room for improvement.

*One of which spent her afternoon & evening cultivating a fever and vomitting extravaganza! See, the 'sitter would've been really pissed if we tried to go out that night.

Oh and, Go COLTS! Ok, I really don't care, it just felt like I should end with something Super Bowlish.

All she wants for Christmas...

2007-01-29T16:50:00.000-08:00

Emily lost her second front tooth at school today. She burst through the front door and said "Mom. I lost. my tooth. at school. today." That's how seven-year-olds talk by the way. I was pretty excited (Dave & I have wanted to yank that thing out for a while now, but Em would have nothing to do with that) so naturally, my next question was "how did it come out?"

And I am not kidding here. This was her answer:

"This boy that sits at my table, Mason, punched himself in the face and then he told me to do the same thing and when I did my tooth came right out!"

So umm Emily, if Mason told you to jump off the roof...*sigh* never mind.

I decided to save the lectures for another time. After all, thanks to that little dork, we don't have to look at the snaggletooth anymore. Thanks Mason.

So I have a blog.

2007-01-29T15:21:00.000-08:00

Big deal. Who doesn't have a blog, right? My brother has a blog, my husband has a blog, my aunt has a blog. And let me go on record here as saying that I LOVE blogs. I read a ton of them. I know, I know, this in no way means I'm qualified to publish a blog but I've been toying with the idea for a good, long time and I've decided to give it a go. I promise I will try not to bore and I will try not to induce eye-rolling.

My blog will have no defined theme. If you're looking for, oh I don't know, let's just say, DIY biotech posts such as How to isolate amniotic stem cells from the placenta, at home!, (wow!) do NOT look here. As the header above quite succinctly puts it, this is merely the unorganized thoughts of a hopelessly absent-minded woman. Nothing more.

Now then, if I have succeeded in sufficiently lowering your expectations....read on.