PAPA-ISMS

NOTE: I wrote this a long time ago (October 07 actually) and it has languished in my drafts folder for months. Not for any reason other than I have had some sort of mental block about blogging since then. I'm back for now (but don't hold me to it) and I had forgotten about this particular post so I'm publishing it. The references are dated, but the subject is more relevant than ever...

Most of you know that I work for my step-dad. He is a very kind and generous man and I love him. He also talks a lot, even when he really has nothing to talk about. Which isn't even true because he always has something to talk about. We sometimes have to talk about the same things over and over again several times throughout the day. This isn't because of senility, it's just the way his mind works. It's always been this way. There's no such thing as a quick question and everything (trip to the gas station, getting a haircut, etc) has to be planned and talked about, talked about and planned. Sometimes he'll say something in passing that will make no sense or have no relevance to what we're working on. These are the things that for most of us are fleeting thoughts that stay in our heads and might even go totally unnoticed by the active parts of our brains. For my dad, those fleeting thoughts fall out of his mouth. I call them drive-bys (in my head, of course). Anyway, the always talking is often hard for me because I happen to be one of those people who occasionally just needs silence.

My sister, who lives out of state, likes to remind me how lucky I am because I am here to reap the benefits of working for our dad. Free lunches, flexible hours, shopping trips with our mom, etc. Today I felt the need to remind her that while I am lucky in many respects, I also deal with my fair share of frustration around the office. I decided that every time Papa (that's what my kids call him) spouted some gem of irrelevance, just for the sake of talking, I would IM it to her. This was fun for me, and it helped me unclench my fists a bit at the sound of his voice - until she left work early (according to her there was some emergency at her house, but I think she was having flashbacks of living at home and had to take the rest of the day off).

Anyway, my sister's not available for the rest of the day and this has been oddly therapeutic, so I'm sharing with you, the internet. So, internet, here you are:

Today's drive-by Papa-isms:
(stuff in parenthesis is my internal dialog of sarcastic come backs, that out of respect, I don't let fall out of my mouth)

• "Do the girls like Miso soup? Maybe I'll warm it up later and see if they enjoy it. Speaking of which, yes, Halloween is next Wednesday." (uh...we weren't speaking of Halloween, yet anyway)

• "It's too bad that Keiko's boyfriend didn't bring a big platter of sushi the other day when he dropped by." (and it's too bad you didn't mention that the other day, when it would've been relevant.)

• "Brown, blue, green. Everyone's got their trash cans out!" (to be fair, he says some variation of this every trash day - but WHY?)

• "Ah...they came by and emptied up the brown trash can." (really? what a surprise! oh wait, they do that EVERY week, Rainman!)
  

So there a sampling for you. Maybe I'll make this a regular feature. Check back for more Drive-By Papaisms. I guarantee you that he won't disappoint.